Hi Jeff,

YOu are a young man. There things you need to really understand. I know you understand them from an Army perspective so I will put what I say in those terms. Are there consequences for a troop that messes up and hurts one of his fellow soldiers? Are their consequences for a commander that messes up and risks/endangers/leads to harm for those under him/her? IN fact aren't there consequences large and small if someone messes up while in the military?

Of course I know the answers to all of those questions, but do you? I think you do.

The OM and your W know/knew/will understand that there are consequences for doing something illegal and without morality. Do NOT protect them from those consequences. In fact, one of the MAIN tools for a betrayes spouse is EXPOSURE and allowing the WS to experience the consequences of their actions. Exposure is STRONGLY encouraged by the founder of this site and a man with years of succesful counseling of marriage where affairs have intruded.

Finally, where I went to school before commissioning, they had an honor code. It was simple it said: "Never lie, cheat or steal nor tolerate those that do." It was in place because those in positions such as yours are called to a higher standard. So is your W and so is OM. Hold them to that standard.

You are in a combat zone. You do not need nor should be focused on your W's deeds at this point. It could be deadly to you and those around you. Your W knows this, OM knows this, and so do their commanders.

Put this in the hands of their commanders for right now and focus on your job and being alert. It will do know one any good and certainly not your marriage if you are KIA.

See your Chaplain, see your JAG, and expose this affair to their commanders.

God Bless,