Jeff,

Believe me. Your WW said all those things to make you give up and think that exposing to the Army would either be too late or would be the final nail in the coffin. She was afraid of you exposing and did everything she could to MANIPULATE you into not exposing because she knows it will end the affair. Granted, she might file for divorce anyway to either try and save face or punish you, but the affair will be over. You never stood a chance while the affair was ongoing, but you have a chance now.

With you being deployed, won't a divorce take a long time to go through? Won't she still have to behave like a married person in the Army while the process is underway if she does file? Either way, you have bought yourself some time. If there is no OM, she is going to want someone to meet her needs, and you might be the only person legally allowed to. Honestly, once their CO's find out and there is not contact between her and OM, her anger will blow over after a few weeks/months and you'll notice her attitude may change.

Let's just put it this way. I thought my marriage was over once I exposed, but that was over 4 years ago and I'm still married. You'd be surprised how much your WW changes once she is no longer in contact w/ OM.