Hey Jeff - You're head and shoulders about me in the exposure department! If you've gone back and read any of my old threads (way back in 2002-2005) you'll notice that I never exposed. My "knowledge" of exposure is based on what I've learned here on MB.

I know that it's painful to share these intimate e-mails with your Cdr, but trust me, the investigatng officer will be tasked with coming up with a list of questions, then he will have them checked by the local JAG that's assigned to support the Cdr. The JAG officer will "approve" the questions and add any pertinant questions that might have been left out.

I've conducted two Artcle 32 investigations for Adultery (both of them in Afghanistan, one on my first tour in 2004, and one on my second tour in 2008). I can't tell you how much some e-mails from the BH/BW would have helped me in my investigations... the e-mails from your W will show a PATTERN... that is what the investigating officer is looking for. A PATTERN of behavior that is in violation of Article 134 &/or Article 92.

I was a brand new 2LT assigned to my first overseas duty station when Mrs. RIF had her "first" A. I exposed to her parents and they blamed me... I asked my CO Cdr and BN Cdr what to do and they both told me to divorce her. So I didn't ask them for any more "guidance".

I suspected a 2nd A about a year later... Even confronted the OM (an E-4 in MY unit!!!) and Mrs. RIF.... they both lied to my face. I never brought it to my C-of-C because I was too ashamed and I 'knew' from my first experience that they probably wouldn't help me. This was a different time in the Army, Zero Defects, and many officer's were looking out for themselves... The senior Cdr's that I know and see now are much more in tune with family issues and know how much family issues affect readiness. The fact that you're BN Cdr is helping you is proof of this...

Don't worry about what your Cdr will "think" about you. The biggest "fear" that kept me from exposing Mrs. RIF's second A to my C-of-C was... "If I expose, everyone will KNOW that I'm not enough of a man to keep Mrs. RIF 'satisfied' at home." I'm sure you can think of other "reasons", but honestly, are they worth keeping private if it means that you lose a chance to rebuild your M?

Only you can decide what is right for you... we here on the MB forum will share our life experiences with you and we can coach you on the MB principles based on our own exeperience... but in the end, you must decide what is best for you.

You are in a full blown war for your marriage... use every tool available to you to expose this A and make sure there is no contact between the OM and your W...

Semper Fi,

RIF