Don't worry about what is going on with her. It would be nice if she followed the MB plan, but the important thing is that she was notified. Sometimes the cheater talks a good story and tries to worm their way out of things, but know that the OM's wife will be watching him.

And just accept that he has contacted your wife, they always do. Chances are excellent that he will dump your wife and then she will wake up. And don't worry about being second choice - you just want the affair ended and no contact, however it happens.