That may be why she stays with you now, but it doesn't mean it is the reason she is with you in 3 years when she may be in love with you again. She doesn't want to be with you right now. Duh. You know that. Let's see if she wants to be with you 6 months after OM is out of the picture. Don't let it bruise your ego. Instead, feel good about how you were there fighting for her in bad times. You weren't at home to meet her ENs. Someone else was. She wasn't properly enforcing boundaries to protect her marriage. It happens all the time. That in no way is a reflection of you, but rather a reflection of her poor choices lately. Time can heal all wounds.

How about calling OM's parents or having a friend back home call them, tell them what is going on, and then ask for their email to send them the proof or just have the friend mail it. Remember, where there is a will, there is a way.

Edit: And yes, intellius does have an email search, although it was unable to pull up my email address.