Originally Posted by Just Learning

I would not as RIF has said worry about the clearance thing. Really that is the least of the issues. I would not worry too much about OM's parents. My guess is that you have not heard for OM's W because she has been too busy twoxfour on her H.

I would also guess that she is in even more emotional turmoil than you are. As every one has said, you have handled this mess very well, and you have your head screwed on straight. OM's W may not have gotten far enough down the road with this new knowledge to do anything but think about her family and herself.

I think the exposure to CoC is going to prove to be the most effective thing you could have done. Get some rest, take care of yourself, and just let the electrons your W is expending trying to contact you move on to your commander as you have been doing.

God Bless,


One thing I would disagree with is exposure to OM's parents. In my case exposing to his parents made my WW no longer a viable long term option for her because they felt she was a slut for cheating on her husband. She would not have been welcome at family functions and OM new that. They let him know that he should be persuing only non-married women. This work better, though, when a person is younger and more influenced by their parents, as well as how religious their parents are. Of course this person was a loser and getting some financial support from his parents. He was also 25. His parents were also Catholic and sent him to a private Catholic college. They did not want their boy wrecking a marriage and dating some "piece of trash" in their minds. Last time I checked (he attempted to "friend" my FWW on facebook), he was dating a Jewish girl (whom I subsequently informed about his affair with a married woman). Oh, well.


BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story