RIF,

I'm glad things worked out for you. Your FWW's age says a lot. Most of us, men or women, don't have much maturity at that age and I think we're even more at risk for failing in marriage when so young.

My expectations for a woman in her mid-20s who is supposed to be an officer and know better are much higher than for an 18 year old of any background or gender.

I'm glad you made it work. I hope Gerka can do the same. But nothing he's posted so far tells me that this is a woman that is going to be changing much or growing up anytime soon.

Did you settle for sloppy seconds? That's a question only you can answer. You felt it was ok to be with a woman that was with 7 different guys while married to you. I was willing to forgive a woman who was on dates with multiple guys as well. It was a price I was willing to pay in order to keep my family intact.

I know me, however, and I know that the amount of cheating, especially while I was deployed and in harms way, would have eaten at me over the years. It would have been a mountain for me to climb in my mind. Could I have done it? Hard to say.

I feel indifference towards my ex now, but I'm not married to her anymore and am very glad I'm not.

Gerka, friends provide invaluable input. What do people who know both of you tell you? What does your family think?