No disrespect was intended. That's how I know I would have felt over time towards my WW and it is a feeling many BS's wrestle with. The sentiment may not be expressed in such words, but it's there.

The mods know who I am, my story, and my circumstance.

I'm not going to sugarcoat the situation for BS'es on here. Yes, MB is a great plan to use if you do finally get to the point that you can try to head down the road to recovery. But my experience on this board tells me it's the exception and not the rule.

If you saved your marriage, then congrats. You're one of the lucky few. I haven't seen it happen often on these boards.

Gerka, I'm not going to sugarcoat anything. The reality is what it is. You have a young wife who has cheated on you from the very beginning. By your own admission, she has MASSIVE self esteem issues. She is very insecure and a very high maintenance woman. Your fellow OCS classmates have told you that she wasn't marriage material.

If you feel like rescuing this marriage with those circumstances, then you have that right. I'm merely telling you that there is an alternative which you can puruse since you deserve better than to settle for this.

Children with this woman would be a disaster. The odds of her cheating again are very high.

So do you really want to be going through all of this again in the future, but then have to wrestle with the impact of divorce on a five year old child?

Your wife needs to do a lot more than end the affair and come back to you. Massive therapy is called for to help her deal with her self esteem issues and childhood abuse.

You can't fix that. You can only work on you and nothing more. I had to learn that the hard way. I tried going down your road. I had a fiance who was bipolar. I had a wife with childhood abuse issues and who also had big self esteem problems.

I have a history of being attracted to damsels in distress and a desire to show them how good they could be or should be treated. My first ex fiance is on her fourth marriage and has cheated on every one of her husbands. My exww still has big psych issues and I'm very glad she's someone else's problem now.

I'm very happy I no longer have her in my life. She would have sucked out my soul and destroyed me as a man because all these years later she hasn't changed. She has a great guy in her life right now and all the people I know who know them feel sorry for him and don't understand why he lets himself be used by her.

I'm happy I'm not that man anymore. What I'm saying to you is that the cross you have to bear with this woman is MASSIVE. This isn't a normal woman that got sucked into an affair she didn't expect because of a lack of maturity. There is much more at play with her than a lack of maturity or poor boundaries.

She has big time psych issues which will take years to resolve.

I'm all for trying to save your marriage after infidelity, but there's a difference between saving a marriage with someone who can change or who strayed from her values and doing so with someone who is fundamentally broken inside and needs massive help to get to a healthy place.

I'm giving you things to chew on as a man who has been in your shoes in very similar circumstances. RIF was as well. He was able to save things and make it work. I didn't. Both inputs are valid for their own reasons and both situations are worth digesting and thinking about.

My ultimate point to you is that you deserve better. You have no children and have a biblically acceptable reason to divorce. Given your age and what you have to offer someone, I don't think anyone could blame you or look down on you for walking away from this marriage.

You deserve much more than this. If your wife has a miraculous transformation, then great. I just haven't seen it happen often.