but there's a difference between saving a marriage with someone who can change or who strayed from her values and doing so with someone who is fundamentally broken inside and needs massive help to get to a healthy place.

Please excuse the TJ Gurka...


I respect your input here and yes, it is important for Gurka to understand the "other" options open to him. Having said that, Gurka has decided to work on saving his M. I respect that just as I would respect his decision to divorce his wife and walk away.

I took my marriage vows seriously. For Better or Worse is so easy to say, but what does it really mean?

For me, it meant that even though my wife was "fundamentally broken inside" and "needed massive help to get to a healthy place", that I my vow to her was to just that. This was definitely a "worse" time in our very young marriage.

I don't look down on anyone that decided to not work through their WS's adultery and divorce, and I'm not saying that anyone that divorces doesn't take their vows just as seriously as I do... I'm just trying to point out the fact that we should respect Gurka's desicion to work on his M and offer him positive ways to do so. Continued statements of how "bad" is situation is aren't helping him.

As for "success" stories here, there are many. I've been on here since 2002 and there are MANY recovered marriages. You don't see many of them because at some point, they have rebuilt their marriage and no longer need or want to post here.

I normally don't post here unless I'm deployed. Mrs. RIF and I are blessed and we continue to work on our M, even while I'm over here. I post here in order to help others that are hurting and to offer proof that it IS possible to rebuild...

I will be the first one to tell a new member that this will be THE hardest thing that they will ever take on... and I will let them know that there are no short cuts. I don't sugar coat things, but I do hope that in some small way that my posts can provide a glimmer of hope for a hurting BS.

Semper Fi,


Me, BS

Her, Forgiven

Married Dec 86

Multiple A's that ended '90

Rebuilding In Faith since then...

Currently deployed to Iraq, but TEXAS is Home!