My apologies if my words about "sloppy seconds" hurt. I was projecting how I felt as time went on and I was healing from things.

The best advice I got when I was going through my he77 was advice I found repulsive and didn't want to hear.

Looking back it was the wisest advice I received and I wish I had followed it.

Things will get much worse before they get better. Your emotions will be a rollercoaster. You will go through crying and despair and you will have crazy swings from one extreme to another.

Your anger towards her and OM will be the worst you've ever felt towards another human being.

Some folks again have mis-interpreted what I've said about abuse victims. I haven't painted all of them in that fashion and I believe I made it clear that many don't act in this manner.

My intent is not to anger you, though it's obvious I have. For that I'm sorry. A BS suffers from fog as much as a wayward does. Our fog tends to keep us from doing smart things or paralyzes us with fear. Again, I've been there. I understand. You're obviously not one of the BHs frozen with fear of the WW's anger.

I really hope you're one of the happy stories on here. I understand your anger towards me. I felt the same towards some people who told me to throw her out with all her stuff. My anger came at myself as time went on as I healed. I didn't protect myself when I was in your shoes in terms of my kids.

I DONT want to see you go down that road, have kids with a woman like this, and then face this horrible situation again in your future.

Perhaps she'll change. I pray she does, especially if you decide to stay with her.

This sucks to deal with on deployment.

I know you don't believe me, but I'm rooting for you and do want a good outcome for you, whatever that may be.