From my limited experience here, young, immature WW's that find their BH's thread just can't refrain from posting to it. One in particular that sticks in my memory is Dogfood. His WW and her friend had to post to it. The feel a need to defend themselves and tell us MBers that "our plan won't work," and educate us on how "messed up" we are. I don't think she's found this thread, but I do believe she thinks he is implementing some "plan." I could be wrong.

In any case my advice to Gerka is to limit his communication to once every ~3-4 days, and keep it small and conversational. I want her to expect Gerka to email at certain intervals so that it's something she can expect (and hopefully in the future look forward to), but not be enough that it becomes a love-busting "annoying behavior." Just let her know you haven't forgotten about her, so if she does go into NC w/ OM, you are there to meet her needs. Avoid responding to any complaint, accusation, etc. Only respond to her if she shows a glimpse of her non-wayward self. Remember, plan A your wife, and plan B your WW. Avoid getting provoked by your WS and love busting. This is a tricky dance, and you need to get the steps right, but I think you have a chance at pulling it off. Just be patient. You can do this.


BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story