Why did I say that about WW'es?

Because they are. Men get caught with their pants down in legal issues far too often. They keep hoping. They do what I did, which is they stay "nice" in order to keep hope alive that they can be together again by not making the divorce difficult.

The opposite happens. The person, man or woman, who comes out with the legal guns blazing tends to come off better.

Sitting and absorbing it while "hoping" will simply have Gerka end up without most of his stuff, likely paying alimony, and in real financial straights.

As a man taken to the cleaners by his ex, I feel I can offer some advice on this front. My mistakes were to sit idle on legal things and not protecting myself, my rights as a dad, or my assets.

I was too worried about reconciling and not worried enough about fighting.

My ex, which took advantage of my emotional state, used this fear of her anger against me. Any move I made to protect thigns was met with a barrage of, "if you make this ugly then you will ruin any chance of us being together again!"

So I would cower, run off, say "yes dear" and comply with her demands. Was this an evil thing for a WW to do? You make the call.

I ended up without a job, homeless, and without any form of rights to see my kids. All my fault for not waking up soon enough with the full understanding that the legal gauntlet had been dropped and that it was time for me to hire a lawyer and strike back just as hard, if not harder.

How does my statement help Gerka? So he can understand that there is a difference between the woman he envisions in his head and the reality. WW'es are evil, selfish creatures who will do anything in their power to help themselves. Things that a BH could never imagine. False charges of abuse, restraining orders, claims of illegal activities, etc are the norm with WW'es looking for an out.

The best thing for Gerka to do is to consult a lawyer and prepare to fire back legally upon his return. It's a gun he may not have to use, but one he should be prepared to use just in case.

Gerka, legal papers will be full of mistakes. They're written up by lawyers who are translating what they hear from their clients. As a perfectionist on this front, I corrected many errors made by my lawyer on papers that were filed on my behalf. Errors by her lawyer are no surprise.

She's not in contempt of anything uless there is a court order. Unless the court says, "ORDERED, both parites must��" then there is no order and no violation.

Don�t get caught up in the idea of, "she's in contempt" because of whatever. The fact is that you and I don't know the law well enough to make that call. Family law is a nebulous minefield. Some stuff means everything to a judge while other stuff falls into the bin labeled "background noise".

Call a lawyer and run your situation by him/her. That will give you a better idea of your rights. This doesn't mean you will file anything. It will simply give you a clue about your rights if you need to protect them.

But please, whatever you do, don't simply ignore these papers. Don't acknowledge them to her, but consult someone about them.