Tried CBT. Whether the person was good or not is hard to judge from the inside. Made no difference.

Everyone tells me to choose to view things differently. To stop seeing everything negatively and to stop being so pessimistic. To take action to work toward my goals. To behave differently even if I don't feel differently.

After 30 years of therapy (some of which was CBT) and drugs and posting on internet forums, I don't see myself ever choosing differently. I don't believe I am capable of changing. I don't have any hope that things can get better if I change my behavior. I think I am doomed to failure. And that is a self-fulfilling prophesy.

I choose to place all the burden on my wife. To avoid taking responsibility for myself. I don't see myself ever choosing differently. Not even after she leaves.

Originally Posted by ChrisInNOVA
I felt you were so focused on the sex you weren't getting that you were not willing to fully clean up your side of the street so that there would be a safe environment for your wife to be sexual with you.

This is true. I am not willing to clean up my side of the street. That is why I no longer claim to be applying MB. MB would require me to clean up my stuff.

Originally Posted by ChrisInNOVA
Do you have activities in your life (apart from your wife and maarige) which you are involved in...which give your days / existence meaning?

I have other activities. My job. On the board of my temple. Nothing that gives my life meaning.

Originally Posted by ChrisInNOVA
Are you actually Depressed (300.4)? If you are, what (if anything) are you doing about it?

Yes. Nothing.

When you can see it coming, duck!