Originally Posted by ConfuzedHusband
Gerka (and others saying it is our job to support [aka encourage / enable] his plan to save the marriage,

Confused Still,

This is GERKA's thread and he is receiving solid Marriage Builders advice in how to fight an affair. He has chose to fight this A...... and possibly save the marriage as a result.

It is not ENABLING him to give MB advice!

Originally Posted by ConfuzedHusband
I couldn't disagree more. True friends, or true people committed to helping others, don't hold back on what's in their heart. I've read every post in this thread. I've also been in Gerka's shoes. I wanted badly to recover my M as well, at first.

So I vehemently disagree that we need to not speak our hearts and minds just to respect Gerka's "decision" if we don't agree with it.

Confused Again,

Gerka came here to learn how to end this affair and possibly recover a marriage..... He is not looking for a friend, nor does he desire to know how your heart feels.... MrRollieEyes

He came here to learn and implement MB plans in fighting an affair. This A needs to end no matter what... it is cruel and evil.

So my advice to you is to sit back and/or stick to helping him with the MB program ... IMNSHO

Originally Posted by ConfuzedHusband
Sorry if it is not the advice you want to hear, but I believe it is for the best. Remember, you are in a "fog" just as much as she is, and I think you sound a bit like you're in denial about your ability to save the marriage.

Pretty ballzy to exalt yourself to such a self-appointed position!

Recovery began 10/07;

Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.