So the idea here is that I continue to try to meet ENs and make deposits, and eventually she'll start talking about the relationship?

Hey Gurka- Yes, that pretty much sums it up.

Right now, your W has re-written your entire relationship from the time you first met, to when you got married, to the present. Her "feeling" are for the OM and that's what's pushing back all of the "good" memories from the past.

Your goal during Plan-A is to show your W that you are still a good husband and help her re-connect with you. This is easier said than done because of her "feelings" for the OM... that is MB always recommends exposure because it's the best way to end the A.

Your W most likely won't want to re-engage with you in rebuilding the M right away. It may take a while for her to deal with her conflicting feelings between her and the OM. I do think that the investigations will go a LONG way in speeding this process along, especially if there is some serious punishment...

The next "phase" is pobably the most difficult phase because YOU will be doing all of he work, and most likely, you won't be getting ANYTHING in return. Again, only you can decide how long you are willing to stay in this phase... its mentally draining, and it's very painful to see your love tossed aside by your W.

Hopefully, after a period of time, your W will start coming around and will be willing to work with you in rebuilding.

Semper Fi,