This isn't being open and honest. But again, it's not always the best idea to be open and honest with a WW. That part comes in recovery. This is just another example of what I was trying to say. You fight the battle to win.

You're right it isn't. And you're also right that it is not always best to be H & O w/ a WS.

I didn't suggest Gerk tell his W about his shock in order to practice H & O, I did it b/c I hope it may inspire some feelings for him.

The point I was making about his managing his W's feelings was to give him a heads up about it. That when/if the day arrives when his W is on board w/ MB princples, he needs to becareful of his desire to manage her feelings. Too many people have this dynamic in their M, and it is not helpful to either of them.