Interesting incident this morning. We were talking about Obama's nomination to the Supreme Court. I said "another Ivy League educated lawyer. Could have picked someone with a slightly different background." Mrs. Hold said "that is what we want at the Supreme Court. Big brained smarty pants people."

I smiled and with a twinkle in my eye asked "like anyone you know?" She frowned and said "yes, I am surrounded by them here. I am stuck with three of them. How did that happen?"

I leaned toward her still smiling. "Yes, I am sure it is terrible being surrounded by me and the kids." I leaned in slowly and aimed my nose to nuzzle with her neck. I knew not to try and kiss her because I had not yet brushed my teeth. I knew to lean in slowly to not startle her.

She shoved my head away from her quite violently with both of her hands. Not playfully. Not leaving open that I could continue to try and kiss her. But with a disgusted look on her face and hard enough that I almost fell off the bed.

I looked at her quizzically and asked in what I hope was a neutral tone "can you help me to interpret that gesture as something other than rejection? Because it felt like rejection to me." She started giggling nervously and said "you mean a two handed shove to the face?" I replied "yes, I just wanted to point it out so we are clear. Occassionally you ask me why I feel rejected so I wanted to point out that this is an example of you rejecting me." She said something like "yes, well, I guess most people would interpret shoving your head away as rejection."

I asked if she would do that to the kids. If they were discussing whether they got 3 or 4 or 5 A+ grades on their report card. If one of them leaned in for a hug. Could she imagine herself shoving them away with both hands? She said no and kept giggling like it was some kind of joke.

I too was laughing a nervous laugh. I didn't want to make too much of this. It was funny that I caught her in a "gotcha" moment. She was laughing and squirming in a "OK, you got me, I can't talk my way out of this one" moment. But despite the laughing, it still hurt.


When you can see it coming, duck!