She only wishes I rub my brainiac ways in her face. I am the most anti-intellectual person she knows. She thought she was going to marry a sophisticated cultured person. I spend my free time playing video games. She was the one who told me during our courtship that "smart is sexy and that she wanted to marry a brainiac." She frequently complains that I don't give myself credit for being smart and successful. I prefer not to make an issue of where I went to law school, because I feel embarrassed. She says she wishes I would trumpet it. She has told me she likes it when I act proud of my intellect, instead of downplaying it.

But maybe that is all an act. Certainly it was during courtship. Years later I found out that while we were dating, she used fishing analogies to describe our relationship. "He is on the hook." "I am reeling him in but I haven't landed him yet." "I am about to hit him with the gaff and drag him onto the boat." Maybe all her statements about liking my braininess were BS designed to lure me in. She has continued to say them while we are married. But maybe they are rote recitations or maybe she is trying to convince herself she truly believes it.

And please note that SHE is the one who said she is surrounded by them. She said she has three of them here, in a tone that made it seem like a bad thing. I am the one who said I wish Obama had NOT nominated an Ivy League lawyer to the Court. I asid I wish he had named someone who might have a different viewpoint. She is the one who said she thinks braininess SHOULD be the primary consideration.

I understand that without saying the words, I deliver the message "you are not enough" whenever I complain about the lack of sex. So I make darn sure to compliment her constantly in every way about her good qualities. Including that I think she is smart. Just as she knows she sends the message that I am inadequate every day by complaining about things we cannot afford. Lately she has been trying to compliment me more frequently to make up for that. And one thing she compliments me on is my braininess. It must be something she admires, because she says she is trying to explain to me why she stays. She says she stays because I am brainy. Go figure!

When you can see it coming, duck!