She is obviously blameshifting to ease her own responsibility in this, I agree with that.
I think she is also throwing you a bone, when she says that 'we could have worked this out with a lot of hard work and effort'. She could have just simply said "well you blew it"

Me, I would respond back with "I am married to you and I am committed to hard work and effort. What's on your dinner menu tonight, we are having hotdogs".

M'd 22 years
D-Day 08/08 LTA