Ok, latest draft:
I simply don't see how it will be possible for you to get anything from my house until I get back to the states. I've given you no indication that I would destroy your stuff, or do anything for the purpose of inconveniencing or hurting you. I've done my best to offer you emotional and financial support from the day this all started, and tried to be the best husband I can be. I've been civil in our conversations, and clear in my intentions. I still value you, and I still value our marriage. We made a commitment to each other, and I have no intention of bailing just when we've gotten to the "worse" part of "for better or worse." Nothing has happened that can't be worked through, and other people have made it through much worse. I have no interested in discussing the details of ending our marriage. If you'd like to discuss how to move forward and rebuild our marriage, I'm available to talk any time. I've been trying to talk to you in regular emails, and I agree that it's going to be hard to stay married if you don't talk back and help to rebuild our marriage.

We both know that I have never threatened you with violence or laid a hand on you and I never would, so I urge you to be honest with yourself and with others in that regard. I have made my Chain of Command aware that you may accuse me of threatening you. You can reach my BN commander @ XXXXXX. He has been privy to all of our written conversations since this all began (including this one, where you threaten to make accusations in order to get your things,) so I wouldn't expect a great deal of sympathy from him when you make outrageous claims without proof.

The only thing I have done, is lived my life and my marriage in the light. It is what I require from my wife and a fellow officer. Nothing that has been reported or conveyed along the chain of command is done out of spite, but with a deep disappointment and sorrow. I initially tried to reconcile our relationship with love and understanding. But your failure to break off your affair with Frost left me no alternative but to act in any way possible that would end your affair and give our marriage a chance. I am sorry if the path that you left me creates a larger gulf between us. But I was left no choice. I love you and hope that when this situation is resolved that we can focus on reconciling our marriage. As always, I am here for you and will love and support you in any way I can.