My reply to her (I needed to say it:)

I am not ending our marriage. I've always tried to put your needs ahead of my own, and be honest with you and myself. The lack of boundaries that led to the affair was both of our faults. Your decision to lie to me and keep me in the dark was entirely yours. Now you've established a pattern of lying to avoid the consequences of your actions. As I said more than a month ago, you have to decide what kind of person you want to be. If you put your own wants, needs and desires first, and are willing to put aside your own morals, ethics, promises and the harm done to others in order to do so, that will be a lonely road. I've always tried to put you first, because that's what I've promised to do, and because you are important to me. If you can see through the fog of hurt, confusion and lies swirling around you, you'll see the good man that I've always been, caught in an impossible situation, fighting for what's important to him, while still trying to be the best husband he can be.

I will not discuss divorcing, or separation of our things. If you're not willing to talk about how we might rebuild our marriage, then we should just give relationship talk a break for a while. I'll continue to try to support you in every way that I can, and I'll continue to let you know what I'm up to, and I hope you can do the same.