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It's a good thing I checked back in this thread because I just about went off. Here's what I almost sent:
You need to grow up and take responsibility for your actions. You put yourself in the position that you are in with your choices and your actions. If you had been honest from the outset, none of this would have happened. Instead you chose to lie to me, attempting to avoid the consequences of your actions. You intended to continue lying to me for as long as possible. You only admitted to what was going on when you were afraid of getting caught. Then you went on to lie to the Army about your actions to attempt to avoid the consequences of your actions. Are you in any way proud of how you've handled yourself for the past 6 months? Do you think you've done the right thing at any point? Do you care at all about the many innocent people you've dragged down with your behavior, or do you only care about yourself, and your "career?" Do you think it's acceptable for an officer in the US Army to lie about their actions to avoid the consequences? Do you think it's acceptable for anyone to do?
Because I know that I've done the right thing. I've been honest, and loyal, and I've tried my best to honor my commitment to you in the face of an overwhelming situation. I did my absolute best to shield you from the consequences of your actions until the point where you forced me to expose your affair by choosing your affair over our marriage. And I meant it when I said I'd live in a burlap sack out in the woods as long as I could live with you. I could care less about the Army, or what anyone thinks, or anything else; it's about me and you. I'm committed to this marriage, and to you. I'll continue to be the best husband I can be, and that doesn't mean abandoning you or our marriage just because things are rough. Sometimes things are rough, that's why the vows say "for better or worse." But in order for you to make any progress towards rebuilding our marriage, or even being someone that you can look at in the mirror, you have to take ownership of your actions. Realize that you messed up, that innocent people were hurt in the process, and do what you can to make that better. It's not just what a good Army officer would do, or what a good human being would do, it's what you, (WW) would do.
I'll continue to love and support you, and I realize that you're having a hard time with everything going on. I'll call you tomorrow at 2130. If you don't want to talk to me, that's your prerogative, but never think that I don't care, or I'm not trying as hard as I can to be a good husband. It's great to get that out of your system and here is the place to do it. Personally I love your words. But........ She could not comprehend 1/16th of that message today. All she would read is, " Blah Blah Mean Blah Controlling, blah blah self righteous Blah blah high horse blah blah." You can't educate a wayward. Trying is a big love buster.
Last edited by chrisner; 05/14/10 02:14 PM.
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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Here's what I almost sent: Hey Gurka! Glad you didn't send this... it's a good rundown on what you've been doing, and I agree with everything you've written! But now is not the time to send an e-mail like this. The Jr. High Drama is getting deeper with every new e-mail from your W. Try and get some sleep and don't worry about these e-mails. You're 100% in charge here and you're doing great! Let your WW continue to spew venom at you and make up more stories to make you feel sorry for what "you've done"... She's trying to manipulate you and she's not doing a very good job...  Semper Fi, RIF
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It's her sister's son's birthday tomorrow. Sending him an email Build-a-bear gift certificate right now. 
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I'm still going to call tomorrow morning since I said I would. Any bets on whether she answers or not?
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That's the thing about waywards, they thrive on the drama... oh yeah, she'll answer.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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I'm still going to call tomorrow morning since I said I would. Any bets on whether she answers or not? My money is down for her answering it. But, only to tell you she's done talking to you. LOL
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yeah, she'll answer... just seems her style from all you've written...
AnnaBelle Rose
Me: 29 WH:31 DS: 22mths M: almost 6 years, together 7 1/2
I am not a mistake. - ABR
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I'm still going to call tomorrow morning since I said I would. Any bets on whether she answers or not? Yep, she'll answer you... You might want to put your IBA on 'cause she's going to give you "both barrels"! You need to prepare yourself to babble back to her statements and not get sucked into trying to argue with her. Let her say what she wants to say, then babble back to her. If you keep in mind that her action are right in line with a Jr. High Drama Queen, you should do great with your conversation! Get some sleep! It's almost 2400hrs there! Semper Fi, RIF PS - Good job on getting the Build-A-Bear gift certificate!
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And Gerk, when you call her stick to her dad's illness or other neutral subjects.
NO RELATIONSHIP TALK!!!
And NO TRYING TO EDUCATE HER! It is a disrespectful judgment!
Not to mention a waste of your time.
Do as Jim suggested. Dodge and weave w/ her the best you can and when she gets ridiculous cut her off and say good bye.
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Yes she will answer: 4
No she will not answer: 0
Good night Gurka!
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Yes she will answer: 4
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Good night Gurka! Rinkhal WW - 5 Silent WW - 0
Jim BS - 32 (me) FWW - 33 Married 8/31/03 No kids (but 3 cats) D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA) NC agreed to - 11/8/06 NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07 Status - In Recovery Jim's Story
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PM, I love it. I just got a mental image of state troopers blocking all roads into Utah-- on the lookout for BS driving a woodchipper down the road.  JL
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I still want to send my email. I can't believe how childish she's acting, taking no responsibility for her actions, and presumably telling other people that none of it is her fault.
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Oh, and her sister already wrote me back, thanking me.
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PM, I love it. I just got a mental image of state troopers blocking all roads into Utah-- on the lookout for BS driving a woodchipper down the road. JL Hey, I am not kidding. It was a couple weeks after the divorce was final and we met at a bank to make to do notary paper crap for some investment accounts. She was real cranky because I was taking DD to California (to the MB Fruits and Nuts gathering) and well�..she�s always real cranky. She thought we were flying but I told her we were driving. She broke into her classic clenched teeth hissing delivery, �You�..Will�.Not�..Take�.Her�.To�..Utah�.�  Yes my lovely ex, whatever you say. On the trip when we got to Grand Junction and stopped for gas DD (then 18) took the keys from me and jumped in the driver seat. When I asked why DD said, �Your not supposed to bring me to Utah dad, remember?� Oh boy did we laugh. I love that kid.
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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Oh, and her sister already wrote me back, thanking me. Didn't she get the NC with Gerka memo from her sister?
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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****edit****
Last edited by JustUss; 05/15/10 10:34 AM. Reason: safety
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***edit****I don't have anything to hide.
Last edited by JustUss; 05/15/10 10:34 AM. Reason: safety
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GET SOME SLEEP!
And send a "your welcome" note to your SIL expressing sympathy for her father's condition. Also let her know that you'll do anything you can to help the family because Mrs. Gerka might have filtered your offers.
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Well, that's OK,****edit****
tl
Last edited by JustUss; 05/15/10 10:36 AM.
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