Originally Posted by Wheels_spinning
I guess one of the best ways to tell that he is being honest is the way he is acting.

Does he act short or angry with you still?
Does he have unaccounted time?
Does he leave the room often, and disappear for a few minutes at a time?
Does he contact her at work using a new FB, or email account? His boss may be able to help on this.
Does he talk admirably about the OW? (like she is such a good person she wouldnt do that....blech)
Short or Angry: Not really. He seems to vary between depressed and happy.

Unaccounted time: Not that I can tell. I worried about his time on the throne, but he has gotten to the point he leaves all electronics outside the room and only takes in a book. Since I use to work down the road from his current job, I know how long it should take to get there and home. He seems to be getting there in a reasonable amount of time. On the way home he is turning a gps tracker on his phone on.

Lunch: sometimes he eats with me. However when he does not I tend to call and check up on him. I questioned him once telling him that I had only his word as to who he was at lunch with, so he gave the phone to his lunch companion: his male co-worker.

Contact at work: no real way to verify. He works at a big corporate and they frown on that type of info due to patent information. That is one reason I will feel better if he does tell his boss.

Talking admirably about the OW: He did in the first few weeks. But now.......

We had a conversation a few weeks ago where I asked him how he could still see her as a good person. And he told me that he was angry at her, but she had not done anything to deliberately harm him. So I asked him how was it not deliberate to come in between a husband and his family when she knew the entire time we were there.
How having been divorced herself, she would create circumstances to lead her "friend" into that same painful situation. How was it not deliberate that for her own selfishness she would cost him free access to his son?

The he told me she kept telling him "That little boy will love you no matter what happens." (This is where I think the OW shot herself in the foot) My WS was abandoned by his bio dad when he was a little boy. Today he HATES his bio dad because of it. I think that statement rang so false in his heart, that he just could not get away from it.

So I asked him how his thinking of leaving us (me and his son) was any different than what his bio-dad did to him. I could see the bulb come on. Since then his statements about her have been that she is not the same person he was friends with in HS, and he is furious with her for almost turning him into his bio-dad.

So I don't know if that answers your questions or not, but that is what I can tell you.


Me - BS
Him - WS
Discovery 3/26/10
NC letter mailed 5/27/10
NC letter recieved 5/29/10
My Thread

Recovery may not be an option. Seriously looking a plan B/D