Originally Posted by ElunaInNC
How will I know when we are in recovery? When did you consider your marriage in recovery?
Hi ElunaInNC,

When my husband disparaged OW on his own without my asking him (said she was boring and ugly and was probably already cheating with another guy), I began to feel like we might have a chance at recovery.

I felt like we had started recovery when I called the MB radio show 7 months after D-day 1 (2.5 months after D-Day 4) and my F?WH told Dr. and Mrs. Harley that he would do anything to help me heal, including delayed exposure to OW's husband across the country.

It sounds like your WH may have avoided a prolonged withdrawal period but I would be concerned about 2 things: depression and underground.

His occasional depression could be a sign of lingering withdrawal.

He may have gone further underground by using his work privacy to cover for another email account or hidden trac fone.

After being busted twice in one week, my then WH appeared to be the perfect husband while we were going through MC, reading "Not Just Friends" by Shirley Glass and acting like he was remorseful and repentive, agreeing to everything and repeatedly telling me it was over......

...but he had started a free draft/delete email account on his work computer to tell OW when it was a good time to call him at work. (He never called her because it was long distance from his work landline.)

If it's true that your WH ended it on is own before you found out he may not be in withdrawal. How did you find out? Is it possible that he only "said he ended it" because you discovered it?

Sorry to be such a downer, but I'm hoping my horror and misery can be of some help so that others might not have to endure what we went through.

Blessings to you,

FWH/BW (me)57+ M:36+ yr.
4 D-Days: Jun-Nov 06 E/PA~OW#2 (OW#1 2000)