Originally Posted by Gerkaguards
I also don't have her address. Without her inviting me\cooperating I just don't see how it would work. No one to pick me up from the airport, no place to stay, etc.

Address, phone number = Intellius, PI

Pick up from airport = rental car

Place to stay = hotel

It may have been good to stay away from her for a month or two after exposure, but any longer than that and you will make it easier for her to withdraw from you fully. You need to get her from conflict to withdrawal.

So what if she can serve you when you get back? What's your plan, wait a year or two until she gives up? She'll already have a serious boyfriend by then (if she doesn't already). Even if she didn't, you will have withdrawn enough to the point where you wouldn't even want to try anymore. You would just be postponing the inevitable. You need to engage her again. Go home and see her. In the meantime, attempt to call her more, especially on her new number. Find out what it is, and give her a call. If she doesn't want to answer your call, there is an app where you can type in someone else's number and it will appear to her that other person is calling. I know it is available on the Iphone, but you can probably get one on yours as well. Right now your WW is in withdrawal, and you NEED to get her back to conflict if you stand a chance. And when you get her back to conflict, you need to avoid LBs unlike two weeks ago when you went back and forth with lovebusting emails.


BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story