Gerka, your strategy may very well keep you from getting divorced, but it will also keep you from really being married. You may hang on to your WW legally, but that will be the extent of your relationship with her. She will only grow more and more distant from you (and probably resent you even more for forcing her to stay married to someone she never sees) the longer you don't see her. Is that really the kind of "marriage" that you want?

I know you're afraid she'll divorce you if you come back, and she might. But leaving things in limbo for years isn't the answer. If she's truly intent upon ending this marriage, there really isn't much you can do about it. Staying overseas and putting your life in danger for years just doesn't seem worth it to me. You are killing any chances you may have to recover your marriage, and even more importantly, you're preventing yourself from healing and moving on with your life (whether it be with your WW or without her).


Me: BS/FWW: 48
BS/WH: 50
DS: 30, 27, 25
DD: 28
OC: 10
BH and I are raising my OC together.