Originally Posted by ElunaInNC
So this morning it dawned on me one of the reason's I have withdrawn from the situation some. One of the reasons I married my husband was because I felt safe and secure with him. For the first year of our marriage, I could not rest until he was in the room with me.


Now that safety and security has been shaken to its very core. And I am afraid I will never feel safe again because of this type of betrayal.

Has anyone else felt this way? Is there any hope?


I also realize that I am completely POed. How come the OW can more on with her life as if nothing has happened, when WS and I are left to try to pick up the pieces and rebuild something THEY BOTH tried to destroy? It is so not fair! I am so angry. I am glad that she is not a threat atm, but still. Why do I have to suffer this betrayal but she gets to move on as if nothing happened?

Comments? Words of Wisdom?

Oh, yeah, we've been there. What you're feeling is normal. You'll feel safe again - this is part of your healing. Right after d-day I would look at my H and see a stranger. I would wonder how he could be 'normal' with me during his A, knowing that his head was filled with thoughts of OW while he sat right next to me. puke

It wasn't so much the safety and security that I felt robbed of - it was my reality. That was what I had to heal from, my loss of my reality during his A.

We talk a lot about the karma bus around here. That's what is going to visit your OW. You probably won't know about it when it happens. But she will pay - it's the yin and yang of the world.


D-Day 2-10-2009
Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever!
Thank you Marriage Builders!