Originally Posted by Gerk
I explained that it was when she told me that she wasn't going to work on things anymore, that she'd rather be with him, that she left me with no choice. I asked what she'd have had me do, just give up on her? Would she rather I cared so little that I just let her go without a fight? She was quiet. I asked, "What would you have done?" Then the connection dropped (gotta love afghanistan.)
I love it!
And the fact that she was quiet ...... shows that she is thinking, might she be realizing that her actions DID require MAJOR reactions from you? I hope so.

You did fantastic. hurray
Remember, there is a fine line between getting entangled into her web of accusations, and stating your goals for the M.
The fact that the connection was dropped, that was even better. No room for her to babble on, and you had left her with a
very strong statement to keep pondering. Awesome!
You've got some good lines and you manage to stay in control, I'm impressed!
Staying in control of the conversation, will help you to feel that you do have control of your half of this situation, and that you are not being
a door mat, in all of this. It also shows WW that she has a grounded spouse to come back to.



Originally Posted by helpthelostdads
You�ve offered her a reasonable way for her to get her dog. She has refused it. You�ve done your part. Save yourself the money and simply repeat the simple solution if it comes up again. She�s the one making this difficult, not you.
I agree with this. Going above and beyond at this point, for a WW that has not yet committed to a plan of R, I don't think is warranted.
It may make a big $LB deposit, but it's a superficial one, to me. It's appeasing her.
It's no so much about the dog in particular, more about the actions that would have to happen for that request.

Quote
It�s also completely reasonable for you to not have her go get �her� stuff out of your place when you�re not there. A WW is not to be trusted with judgment on such things. What is �hers� can be relative, and you�ll suddenly find things gone that are clearly not hers.
I agree with this too, for a couple of reasons.
One, make it as difficult as possible for her to start a new life on her own.
Two, WW has not committed to R, she cannot be trusted.

Gerka, have you come up with a mantra, one that can help you to keep going until you get back home?
Think about adopting one. smile

M'd 22 years
BW-me
D-Day 08/08 LTA