(T)hat safety and security has been shaken to its very core. And I am afraid I will never feel safe again because of this type of betrayal.
Has anyone else felt this way? Is there any hope?
I also realize that I am completely POed. How come the OW can more on with her life as if nothing has happened, when WS and I are left to try to pick up the pieces and rebuild something THEY BOTH tried to destroy? It is so not fair! I am so angry. I am glad that she is not a threat atm, but still. Why do I have to suffer this betrayal but she gets to move on as if nothing happened?
A little late to the party, but thoughts on this....
I know EXACTLY how you feel. EXACTLY.
Time is the one thing that's healed us. D-day was 19 months ago, and the R really started about this time last year. She has been doing pretty much everything she can to help me through all this.
I know intellectually that there is ZERO chance of anything rekindling, or even anything else of this nature ever happening again, but the rest of me is still catching up.
As for the POSOW, again, I know how you feel. When I exposed to Mrs. Pond Scum (he had been lying to everyone about his marital status, so my first question to her was if she was married to him!) she talked as if she'd bought his gaslighting hook, line, and sinker. She even lied to me about things that were verifiable. (Yeah, I'm the guy everyone lied to about everything. Lucky me.) She did tell me what he'd said about my then-WW, and when I relayed it back to her, any WD she was experiencing ended then and there -- a bucket of ice water to the face, as it were.
It seems like he was able to escape any consequences for his actions, but I really don't know that for sure. I have no contact with him -- thankfully, as one of us would be hospitalized or worse, and the other would be in the graybar hotel -- but remember the Karma Bus.
That POS is overdue to get some tire tracks across his torso. I'd love to be the agency that applies the punishment and have my license plate numbers stamped mirror image into his forehead, but I know that ain't gonna happen. I just have to be content in the knowledge that he's going to pull this crap one time too many, and some other BH with less to lose and a shotgun will take care of things for the rest of us.
In other words, his day will come.
And so will the POSOW's. Bank on it.