He's gone ..... and I don't know if we will repair things.

He left me after 13 years together. We had grown so far apart, so miserable that I didn't even know something was that wrong. I know that may not make sense but it's the truth. I've been living with a roommate for years.

He went to the bottom of my priority pile .... we were so busy with our home, business, children, yadda yadda .... that I forgot I had a mate.

I love him with all my heart. I adore the man that I married, and I miss him terribly. He hasn't been that man for a long time, but I am still in love with him.

It's like I had a heart attack and came to my senses and everything is SO CLEAR that I never want to go back to what it was before. But now that my eyes are open, my mind is clear and I realize that my husband DESERVES to be my number one priority he is gone.

We are separated. It finally happened a few days ago. At first he was so angry and hurtful he said he would not even consider counseling. Said he hadn't loved me in years and that it was over. Tonight I spoke to him and he has said he's been researching and he is going to get some help.

I'm already in counseling, I recognize there are things in myself I am ready and willing to fix. He is calling me on Friday and we will talk again. It just hurts so bad that I drove my husband away and I didn't even realize it because I was so busy keeping everyone else, everything else, EVERYTHING together. Keeping it all running smoothly .... except I forgot about my mate and his needs.

And now he is gone and I am so very, very lost.