Hi. I'm new on here and I'm looking for help with my situation.

I have been married to my husband for 13 years, however we have been together off and on since high-school. We have two young boys ages 5 and 11. He has just reached 18 years in the military, so only 2 more until he can retires. We have had an up and down relationship, with deployments and affairs along the way. He has cheated on my at least 6 times that I know of since we got married. He usually doesn't come and out and tell me. I usually stumble across something and a few fights later, he gives me bits and pieces.

This last affair, he told me had strong feelings for this woman and decided to leave our home. This is the first time he has ever done that, usually he is begging me to forgive him. He says his feelings for me have changed and I have pushed him away. He has been staying with a couple of friends for the past two months and has just rented himself a place.

We both have started seeing separate counselors and he has ended his relationship with this woman. We have talked about getting back together if we can get ourselves right. He says he still loves me and thinks about coming back everyday. Our counselors want us to stop talking and texting each other for 30 days, so we can give each other time to work on our issues. We can talk about the kids or business but no relationship talks. His counselor wants him to start taking depressents to help with what he thinks is a depressive disorder....My husband also has a lot of unsolved issues from things that happened to him in his childhood.

So this is where we are...do we stop talking and texting or will that push us farther apart? I love him and I want to do what I can to save our marriage. (We tend to text 10-12 times a day and talk on the phone at least twice a day, they say this is bad for us)

We are not making promises to each other but we have hope that we will eventually get our marriage back together. He says he wants to fix himself so that he does not hurt me again. I feel he really wants help this time. So do I back away and let him work on it or do I continue to support him? We still love each other, but know that we can not continue living like this.

I would love any advice on what we should do. I don't know if I feel like our counselors are for our marriage surving. His counselor says we are not ready for couples counseling...they also want to start EMDR.

I know this is a lot to take in so thanks for letting me vent...I just don't know where to turn.
Thanks.
Tonya