2x per week? On a regular basis? We hardly ever have sex 2x in one week. And there is always a multi-month hiatus after that "event". No, best we get to is 1x per week for 2 or 3 weeks. Then something happens to interrupt. And we fall away for weeks.

I would love to schedule our sessions. I would be thrilled to trade my abilit to initiate at any time for certainty that something will happen at the scheduled time. She adamantly refuses to schedule sex. In her mind, scheduling eliminates her veto power. Or creates additional guilt over saying no. She does not want any encumbrances on her turning me down. Understandable given her history. But makes a solution more difficult to achieve. Unlike some people with low libido, she does not view a schedule as freedom. She doesn't view it as removing pressure (because there is agreement there will be no sex at unscheduled times). She views it only as a restriction on her ability to exercise her veto. And her veto must be inviolate.

"It seemed fun for both of you."
Emphasis on "seemed". Remember, this was the 3 weeks immediately preceeding her pushing my hand away. Somehow, I doubt it was fun for her. After all, she mostly just lies there silent and unmoving. I have no idea how it is for her. And this last time, she stated she doesn't feel anything. So how am I supposed to conclude it was "fun" for her? And I got the "please let me sleep" pre-emption when I climbed into bed last night. So even if I had been in the mood to initiate, it was a no go.

I would love to discuss what might be fun for her. I am willing to explore this even though I believe the only honest answer would be "sex with someone else". I am willing to try pretty much whatever she asks for. Other than "you keep asking and I turn you down often but sometimes I say yes". I am willing to be her plaything. But not her punching bag.