Originally Posted By: OurHouse
Seriously though. I know the caloric factor is an issue. What's the fastest way to get there with the least amount of calories. Can she plan for this the way she would if she had an event coming up, like a wedding or big party, where she (like most successful dieters, I assume)would "reserve" some calories for the day or two beforehand to make up for the indulgence during the event?


Is it theoretically possible? Yes. Will she consider actually doing it? No way. Why not? Because this would merely reinforce the problem with scheduling. She would be giving up even more control. Now, not only has she agreed in advance to have sex at a particular time whether she is in the mood or not, she has changed her eating habits to make "room" for alcohol. Now she is even more obliged to have sex at the scheduled time, not only to me, but to herself. Because otherwise she has denied herself calories / points "for nothing". It is not like she is going to say "well, I turned down the alcohol because I wanted to turn down the sex, so now I am going to have some cookies". That would make it only too clear how averse she is to sex with me.

What, you want her to be open and honest how she feels about sex? And about sex with me? No way. She fears my filing for divorce as much as I fear her doing so. Hence we live in this fantasy-land where she does not admit how much she hates sex with me and I don't admit how much I hate her continued rejection (not that I haven't told her this many times, but I don't remind her every time the feeling arises - which of course is every waking moment). Because if either of us admitted the truth, the other would be hard pressed to justify not divorcing. Which neither of us wants to do.

Don't get me wrong. I appreciate all the suggestions. I will suggest scheduling sessions so we can both relax in between. I will suggest she save points for alcohol on schedule days. I will ask her to suggest what works for her. And I will suggest ways for us to be playful and see if there are any she is enthusiastic about. If I am done trying, then I should be done complaining. So I guess I have to keep trying.


When you can see it coming, duck!