Jayne, it is not that I have resolved to stop trying. It is that, as usual, my fear is interfering with my intentions.

As for the Cool-Whip, read back a few pages. My first suggestion in the "playful" category was for me to lick chocolate sauce off of her naked body. Her response "yes, I imagine YOU would enjoy that", said in a disdainful tone, did not auger well for POJAing that behavior. But I will make another Thoughtful Request and not DJ her by assuming a negative response. And yes, I am aware of the multiple uses to which a pressurized can of Reddi-Whip can be put.

I don't think the calories are the main issue. They are a convenient excuse. The main issue is not agreeing in advance. Which places constraint on her veto. She can still say no at the last minute. But she knows she would "owe" me if she did. And she hates the idea of "owing" me sex.

I can remember very early in our marriage. I would do something helpful. And she would resent me for it. Initially I was confused why she reacted that way. Eventually I realized that she hated the idea of giving me credit for anything I did for her. Because she feared if she gave me "chips", I might want to turn them in for sex. And she hated that idea. So she refused to give me "chips" in order to short-circuit what she feared I might do with them. I asked her about that. She thought I was probably correct. I don't remember if we had kids yet when we had that discussion. If not, I should have divorced her that afternoon. Would have saved both of us a boatload of pain.