I only have this insight after much reading and pondering. Mrs. Hold first admitted to being raped after 2 years of marriage counselling. To me, this was a huge breakthrough. Finally, a reason why she displays no interest in sex. I read everything I could find about rape and being the partner of a recovering victim. This caused me to be very hopeful, since she seemed to be a textbook case and hence could presumably be helped with "standard" counselling. I foolishly assumed that, having taken the huge step of admitting to what happened in the past, the she would commence to deal with it.

Silly me, why should she do that? Any more than I have dealt with my past hurts. She continues to claim that her past has nothing to do with our sex life. Which caused me to do further reading to confirm that this is also a very typical reaction. Not helpful. But common.