We tried something different last night: cards

WH has never really learned to play poker, so I tried to intrigue him with a game last night which lead into SF.

And shortly after SF: I felt the need to get on the laptop and he felt the need to play video games (single player).

I have found that when I start getting uncomfortable, I bury myself into the laptop. I guess so I don't have to deal with what I am feeling.

However, I brought up to WH that I was upset with the gaming. He is not doing it much atm, but during the A, his gaming acted as a barrier to keep me out.

I ended up telling him how resentful I was of the gaming. That while he was having his A, I spent almost a full month waiting for him to join me in our M bed, waiting for SF. And during that time he was downstairs gaming. At the time I thought I was being a good wife, giving him space, allowing him to indulge in his games without nagging, but at the same time I was sacrificing my needs to do that, so I am resentful of it now.

I ended up telling him that his gaming had made me feel like it was more important than I was. When he games, he feels like he HAS to get to the next save point before he can cut it off, regardless of what else is going on around him. To which he pointed out the amount of time I am on the laptop (again). And I agreed that I do spend too much time hiding on the laptop, however I pointed out that when someone tells me we need to go do something, I will immediately put it away regardless of what is going on. I pointed out that I had done that on numerous occasions, because even though I am hiding in the laptop, I realize it will still be there when I get back.

At one point I tried to stop the conversation because I felt DJed from him. I also realized that to a point I was probably being judgmental as well. Since he was not seeing an AO he did not understand why I wanted to stop the conversation. I had to explain that DJs were also love busters.

Was I trying to run from the conversation, probably. I am full of anger and resentment and trying not to LB. However I think that is one of the first real conversations we have had in a very long time.

Last edited by ElunaInNC; 06/29/10 10:06 AM.

Me - BS
Him - WS
Discovery 3/26/10
NC letter mailed 5/27/10
NC letter recieved 5/29/10
My Thread

Recovery may not be an option. Seriously looking a plan B/D