So my car is broken. WH and I are planning on trying to fix it this afternoon.

Since it is the waterpump that has gone out, we decided to carpool into work this morning so that the car will be ready when we get home to fix it.

I took that opportunity to talk with WH. I have been feeling very wayward lately. I have noticed both my actions and thoughts are not even close to those from several months ago. Since I do not want my wayward thoughts to continue, I decided to practice RH this morning.

He told me that he understood. That he was not upset with me feeling this way. He views this as I would never have had these feelings if he had not had the A.

I told him that his reaction hurt me, because it made me feel like he did not want to fight for our M. It felt too accepting. I did not feel like he was even a little worried that I may follow his footsteps and A.

I told him that I wanted him to also fight for me. To show me that he actually wants to be here with me. That I have not been feeling that and that I am wondering now what it would be like to have a guy who would fight to keep me.

Not trying to rub salt in his wounds, just trying to get him to realize that I feel like these feeling are threats right now. That this is not something to just ignore. I have put several EPs in place and put up my own boundaries to stop myself from straying, but the draw is stronger each day. I don't want to be this way. I want my husband, and my M. I need to keep focused on that, but each day I have more LB$ depleted than deposited

I am being honest with him, I just hope he steps up soon. Otherwise who knows what will end up happening.