What I do is very specialized and pretty much can only be done in big cities. Actually, of our firm's 7 offices, I live in the one with by far the lowest cost of living. Any place I go to will be a big city with higher costs.

Yes, it sounds like we are living with similar wives. Not much fun. I feel for you. You mention hating her. We discussed this Friday night.

We were watching a movie: Victoria and Albert. They had sex on their wedding night, and Victoria says to Albert "now it cannot be undone". I turned to Mrs. Hold and said "wow, you are just like Queen Victoria. She asked in what way. I told her she said the same thing after we consummated our marriage. She claimed not to remember. Possible, since I am sure the statement was much more meaningful for me (in hindsight) than it was to her at the time or since.

She admitted she freaked out during our honeymoon. I told her the big problem was not the freak out during the honeymoon. It was the denial afterward. Especially during MC. I understand that admitting she freaked out would have affected the course of our MC. So I understood why she felt she had to deny it. But it basically destroyed any chance we had of reconciliation. Because everything we were discussing was either a lie or a half truth. Not surprising that we never made any progress.

She got quiet. She said "you must hate me". I asked her why she said that. She said "because what I did was so mean to you". I said "yes, it was."

We tried to have sex Saturday morning. I was unable to perform. It may be far too late to fix this.

When you can see it coming, duck!