Not sooo awful. Many people live like that. Me among them.

Yes, we should probably speak openly. I told Mrs. Hold on the phone today that we need to continue our conversation. She reacted negatively. Not unexpected.

Hopefully we can agree to stay together until the kids are grown. Last night I told he that a big part of why I stay is the kids, the house, etc. She said for her it is not. That she likes me and she likes our life. I told her that if she likes me being miserable, I can do without being liked. She said I would be miserable no matter how she behaved (or how anyone involved with me behaved) so she does not allow my unhappiness to affect her mood, her decisions, or her behavior. Good to know.

I remain convinced that we are simply incompatible, in that neither of us is willing to change sufficiently for our spouse to be content. She said as much this morning. That she wants to be invited to parties and events. But she wants to stay in her comfort zone of not socializing. I told her she would have to move out of her comfort zone to receive more invitations. She agreed but said she is not willing to change. Last night she said she was never willing to have an honest discussion of where each of us would draw the line at what we could offer / accept, because then it would be clear that neither of us can offer (me money, her sex) enough to satisfy the other person. So if we were open and honest, one or both of us would choose to leave. I think she is correct. In the end we are both Renters, not Buyers.