You didn't try to engage MrsHold last night, sir.

You invited and she accepted...and you guys engaged.


Power words...language power. Know what you do from what you didn't do...and there really is no try.

She didn't want your hand or to respond to your try. You spoke. She didn't respond in the way you wanted. What's your agreement about talking during a show? Just during commercials or anytime, or is it on a show-by-show basis?

Sounds like she wanted to exchange opinions about the show.

You felt rejected, felt the frost and distance. Again, you didn't use your words...pausing the show and saying, "MrsHold, I believe you're rejecting me physically and verbally right now...that you're frosty and distancing and I'm hurting. I'm going to remove myself until after your show is over."

Not what you wanted...not even the discussion you wanted...about SF...and yet you have said, astutely IMO, that the FS and the SF are intermingled, entwined. you got half of that and you chose hope.

I think removing yourself was healthy...the way you did it, unhealthy.

Just like you asking her to sit and talk with you while you ate...and she did...and sharing ideas, plans and her stuff, your stuff. That's marriage. That's partnering.

Not all right or all wrong...just see where you react "old" and choose NEW (even if you're out the bedroom door when you realize the "old", go back and do "new").

she kept saying "I would never pick him. He is too needy. Too weak." I said "well, you might not pick him now, but you might have 20 years ago. You have learned alot about love and relationships since then." She said something like "you got that right".

I want to challenge your honesty on your statement. Do you think she has learned a lot about love and healthy relationships in the past 20 years? Or were you implying something, roundabout, rather than sharing honestly?