She seems at least somewhat open to me coming to AZ, she certainly hasn't said "don't come."

Hey Gurka,

How about you pack up all of her "stuff" and offer to bring it out to her. By offering to do that for her, you will totally dismiss her accusation of "holding her stuff hostage in order to save the marraige".

Take her stuff to her, maybe plan a weekend away where you guys can spend some time together away from the base. I wouldn't have any expectations other than having a good time with her. No relationship talks, just a chance for both of you to spend some time together.

I think that by showing her that you're willing to let her go, that it might soften her attitude. Then again, it may not... but what do you have to lose?

Semper Fi,