Yes, if I were willing to make the required changes in lifestyle. I am not. Dot you realize what you are saying? Suppose my wife agreed to these changes? Then I could not blame her for our problems. Then I would have to take responsibility for our situation. Then I would not be able to feed my resentment and frustration toward her, and I would have to turn my attention inward. What are you trying to do, solve the problem? Who the heck wants to do that?


I already live in a smaller city in a house that costs 1/4 what it costs closer to NY. I tried to do what you suggest 10 years ago. Move to a smaller city, cheaper cost structure and make the same income. I actually got a substantial raise to come here over what I was making at a firm in a bigger city before (well, they paid me a fixed salary equal to what I made as salary plus bonus at the old place). Helped to pay off the debts from Mrs. Hold's fiasco.

But the years have gone by and I have not increased my income to match inflation, health care and college costs, etc. At this point the key is not to switch jobs, it is to gather clients who view me as their trusted advisor. I have been trying to do that for 10 years with zero success. I seem to lack whatever social skill or salesmanship is needed to close the deal with clients. Without clients of my own, there will be no increased income, whether at this firm or anywhere else.

Look, your advice is generally sound. I need to stop throwing a pity party and get moving on making changes. A rational person would do that. I won't. Hence my contention that you were wrong to say I am not ill or that I am being rational. I am being many things. Rational is far from being one of them.