You are creeping up on the truth;
Originally Posted by holdingontoit
Well, actually, I agree her issue is a biggie, I am just not willing to do anything to address it. She thinks mine is trivial, so she doesn't feel any need to address it.

Money is as big of an ego issue with you as it is with your wife. It's something you, and more importantly others, can measure. You want to believe there is some magic number which will make you feel adequate around...who? Other lawyers? Your family? Neighbors? Wife?

You don't know what that number is. It's different for every one of them. So why try, you tell yourself. But you are trying, doing pretty well, but blaming someone else for not trying harder. It's believable, because there is a germ of truth to it.

And your wife doesn't think her lack of interest in/withholding SF is trivial. She knows what a weapon it is, because you permit her and enable her. The core problem is that you both see sex as something she gives and you receive, a 0/100 relationship. She has attacked your masculinity, neutered you, and in the process, given up her own sexual persona.

When she realizes what she is doing to herself, and the two of you only think of giving love to each other, this problem will be gone. Both of you need to stop having any other kind of sexual relationship. If you can't do it the right way but once in the next year, that's a start, and better than you are doing now.