Hold, that's interesting what you said about your son, that you would be willing to make him feel worse. What would be your payoff in that? Is the punishment the end result? Or is it that you think withholding your acceptance would motivate him?

LA has told me before, what we crave the most, is what we give the least of. You said Mrs. H says what she is missing most is Words of Affirmation. Does that mean that you are craving Words of Affirmation the most? But you say you don't want to hear that you are doing well, that this feels bad for you. So what is it that you do want? I guess I have lot more questions than answers today.

Have you spoken with the Harleys? When I called Steve, he had amazing insight. I told him my struggles, and he explained to me how it made sense that I was having those struggles, and simple steps to try to get out of the ruts I was in. "No man is an island," we're part of a people, Hold. You're not fighting some unique situation that no one else has ever experienced or come through successful from. How would you feel about calling Steve, and letting him give you a plan of action that you are enthusiastic about? And developing an accountability plan that you're enthusiastic about? Over your time here, I think you've seen other folks in ruts that Steve helped them ease out of.

You have some great momentum going already, it's not an all-or-nothing. You have done a great job of getting out of ruts before, like when you took charge of your health, and aided your wife in taking charge of her health. Many folks would tell you that their health is the most precious asset they have. What do you think?

Me 40, OD 18 and YD 13
Married 15 years, Divorced 10/2010