Things with Mrs. Hold are going well. Now that I have stopped pestering her for sex we get along well. I pestered her for sex mostly for the ego stroke - not the sex itself. Now sex is not an ego stroke for me. I know it does nothing for her. And in my present physical condition it doesn't do much for me, either. Much easier to take care of things myself and not bother her. This morning she gave signals she was available, but I decided to go into another room and handle things myself. Much less stress and tension.

Now my job is to do better at my job. Forget about my marriage and focus on work. I need to get my head out of my butt and really try to succeed instead of assuming failure and not making a true effort. I know many of you think that I should change careers and do something I enjoy more but I am never going to make that choice voluntarily.

Oh, and bubbles, you'll never believe what Mrs. Hold and I did on Saturday. We went to an open house at a college about an hour away and looked into Mrs. Hold going back to school to get a certificate so she can qualify to get a JOB! She figures she will be bored in 3 years when S15 is out of the house and D13 can drive, and we could use the money, so she wants to prepare herself for something. Hopefully by then the recession will be ending and she can actually get a job.