I am not sure it has. I did a fairly good job for a long time on avoiding LBs. I learned to listen to my wife without DJs. I say "thank you for sharing" when she tells me unpleasant truths, and really mean it. I tried to meet her ENs, but of course I failed miserably at her #1 need so my efforts along those lines were mostly wasted.

I learned to express my needs and ask for them to be met. I stopped being only a Giver and allowed my Taker to step up to the table. I doubt I would have separated our bank accounts or asked Mrs. Hold to give up her credit cards without MB.

This forum has helped me get through some difficult times. Whether it has become more of a help or a crutch over time is an open question.

No system, MB or anything else, can get me the results I want if I am not willing to make the required changes in my behavior. There was an interesting article in the NY times magazine this week about a life spent in psychotherapy, and whether it made any difference for the author. She could have been describing my life. decades spent waiting for the magic wand or some amazing doctor to "flip a switch" and change my feelings. Doesn't work. Changing one's behavior eventually changes one's feelings. I am not there yet.

When you can see it coming, duck!