Hold, I would not worry too much about what the children think.

I am sure they will just see it as more of the same, Dad with another problem. It seems to be one step forward, two steps backward.

You could do youself and children a huge favour and buy yourself any tape by Sean Stephenson. This is someone that bats way ahead of his ability. If you and the kids spent the holidays watching that, you could make a gigantic leap forward.

I am picking you are gaining far too much perverse happiness from consentrating on you problems, than to ever come to a place of wanting to move forward.