Originally Posted by Gerkaguards
I had a pretty close relationship with my parents, but now I feel so embarrassed about failing at this marriage that it's like that's always hanging in the air when we talk. That's why I haven't gone to visit them.

Dude, why are you embarrassed? You didn't cause this marriage to fail. I know you FEEL you disappointed your parents, but I'm sure they are proud how you have handled yourself through all of this. I think you are projecting your own disappointment onto them. You have got to open up to them. My parents (my mom especially) are as Catholic as they come. They don't even believe in birth control. However, after they found out about my WW's affair and how she was treating me, they wanted me to divorce her. True, they wanted me to see if the church would annul it as well, but they had no problem with me ending my marriage.

The ONLY thing you should possibly even be SLIGHTLY embarrassed about is being so blind to the selfish, narcissistic person your STBxWW was. Even then, lots of people do stupid things for love. As long as you don't do anything immoral for "love" (say, like stealing another person's spouse), then you should have nothing to feel embarrassed about. Don't punish yourself for your WW's behavior. Go home, see your family, do things for you, have fun, and go back to being yourself pre-WW. The best revenge on your WW is to live well while she continues to live in her own misery.

Last edited by jmwc95; 08/17/10 08:15 AM.


BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
Jim's Story