I'm not going to pound you. I just wanted to say that this statement is very revealing:
like a selfish little kid, I was feeling kind of alone or ignored instead of taking joy in how much she was enjoying her gift

Why do you feel like a lonely, ignored child after you did something that was a gift that was being enjoyed?

I hope you are in IC, because I think some of the issues in your M and R are deeper (and older) than just your behavior during most of your M.


"I may not know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future." -Martin Luther

Remarried my FXH 25 years to the day of our first M. God is so good-and sometimes so unexpected!