I was worried about her brother's feelings instead of worrying about DWG's feelings
I beg to differ.
I sure hope I can explain this ...
Back to your very first post on the forum ...
I am 61 and retired. I have been unfaithful once in 1984 for a brief encounter but carried on a six year "relationship" with a dirtbag that ended on discovery three months ago. I have been an addictive personality all my adult life and a narcissist with a huge ego, though at heart I am a good person.
This is you, doing your thing.
Let's put aside, for now, the lies and obfuscation of the actual depth of your betrayals.
Let's just look at the last bit."I am a good person"
Who are you trying to convince when you write such a thing?
The MB peanut gallery?
Are you even aware, that a person who KNOWS they are a "good person" does not feel compelled to convince others of that fact?
Have I ever written "I am a good person" on the MB forum?
Because my ability to recognize my own good qualities does not hinge on my convincing others that I am "a good person".
It would never occur to me to even write such a thing.
GM, you are not the first wayward on MB to write "I am a good person" in order to convince others (complete strangers) that they are not a "bad person".
You see, GM, I don't need to announce that I am "a good person" because I know I am not a "bad person".
Here's my 2 cents.
The man in the mirror, the guy who you see shaving every day, is not sure if he is good, or not. In fact, he's pretty sure he is not.
But, he wants to be.
The only way you know how to take your own measure ~~~>
What is reflected in the opinions of others? What do I look like to ~~~>
that person over there.
So, you say to a suspect man-fishing FB widow, "I like you a lot" ... when you don't like her a little.
You say it is to spare her feelings.
I say, it is to gain her favorable opinion so that you can feel better about yourself.
You were really not concerned with DWG's brother's feelings.
You wanted to look good ....
GM, isn't it exhausting?
The reflected sense of self?
A reflected sense of self is a never-ending appetite to be "stroked" by others. (for the lack of a better word)
Now, getting stroked by others is not a bad thing.
Sometimes we earn that.
I'd like you to imagine what you might think of yourself if you did not rely on the approval and stroking of outsiders ...
Are you "a good person" ?
Now, go back and re-read that first post of yours.
You were lying to us.
And you wanted us to believe you are a good person.
While you were lying.
Can you see the problem with this?
Are you a good man if no one but you is around?
Think about it.